What do I do....

She did it again...ripped my heart out without even thinking twice. Then her sense of regret came..I can see how she loves me in her eyes, but how could she do that..again..I love this girl more than I ever thought I could love someone. It's behind that puppy love bullshit..my Body feels when she's around. Not even when she's touching me, the sound of her voice makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I can't explain it, I look at her and Just know she's my soulmate.

The problem is she cheats on me. Or she has now 3 times in a year and a half relationship. All times are with the same guy she's cheated on every person she's been with on. She doesn't want to be with him otherwise she would be. She doesn't do it for pleasure because I satisfy her like no one else has. There's some emotional damage inside her driving this betrayal. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but I know thats where it comes from. What do I do? Do I walk away and say fuck off because she's sick? I know by all means I should and part of me wants to. I hate this feeling and hate her for what she's done. I don't know if I can forgive her this time or even if I should. The only problem is my heart can't stop loving her. No matter what she does I love her. It's not about devaluing myself because I know I can go find a girl who will appreciate me and treat me better,but what good is that if I don't love her the way that I will always love HER. I want HER to treat me right and feel as though if it were someone else I might take advantage of them and do the same because they are not...and perhaps as I am writing this I am realizing something else...maybe she wants him to act like me and thats why she doesn't value my love..idk so many thoughts and emotions to deal with and no one to talk to who really can try to understand. EVERYONE I mean EVERYONE tells me to leave her and no one really tries to understand her. People act in ways that are illogical all the time. We eat crap food even though theres a obesity epidemic. We watch massive amounts of TV even though it's proven reading stimulates the brain more. So why wouldn't someone cheat as a way of dealing with some sort of deep emotional problem, perhaps lacking the skills to communicate with someone you've lost a child with...

Some will say I'm making excuses because of her son. Maybe I am i dont know. I know that I love our family and am willing to do whatever it takes to keep us together. And then I know I can't at the same time because it takes two. I love that little boy like he is my own flesh and blood. Not seeing him and knowing I'm not his "Daddy" anymore makes me cry at random moments throughout the days and I am not a crier.. I want my family and I want her, but what do I do? Do I look like a fool to all my family and friends for continuing to put up with her bullshit in hopes that this time she realized what she had and will never do it again. I heard that before from her and look what happened..I cant help but want ot be with her. Something beyond words drives me towards her. The only ting preventing us from being together right now is my sheer will. How do I help her? How Do I fix us? I can't just walk away from her and him...If I do I will be walking away from my heart and soul...who wants to walk this earth as an empty shell....