Saturday, October 2, 2010

I'm not FAT...

How many of us have struggled with their weight at one point or another? I'm pretty confident in saying about 90% of the US population critiques the way their body looks no matter how "attractive" they may be. We live in a time it's become more important to get your muscles big,stomachs flat and our skin as brown as possible. Personally, I find this a little disturbing. We quote "The Situation" more than Voltair, Plato, Davinci, Einstein or any other of our worlds incredible minds. There's an infinite amount of information at our fingertips and yet as a whole society it seems as though we are more ignorant than ever, so whats the excuse? Obesity is a serious issue within our country and it is NOT because we are all lazy. There are so many other factors that play into this epidemic that it is wrong to put all the blame on people who fight this daily battle, and putting us down is not right or ok. I AM NOT FAT!

All my life I've heard that stupid word. Fatty,fatass, fat fuck and every other possible combination of the word FAT. Look up FAT in the dictionary and you certainly will not see my picture or anyone elses for that matter. Fat is tissue, I do HAVE too much fat on my body but that is NOT who or what I am. I struggle with this on a daily basis. Avoiding contact with mirrors, tugging at my clothes and then being mad at myself for even feeling that way. I'm a MAN I shouldnt care and be confident regardless. It's a little tough to do that when all I see are images of how I SHOULD look and what girls look for. Kinda sad right? I'm a good person, I'm smart,funny, caring, sweet, passionate and the list could go on and on about my good personality traits (please, I'm not being arrogant) but in my mind the only thing I can focus on is how I lack in the physical appearence part of who I am. There is so much turmoil within me that sometimes I just wish I could turn my brain off for a bit. I've been on both sides of this spectrum and I really dont know where to go from here...

Today, I weigh between 263-268 depending on the time of day. I've made a pact with a very important person in my life to lose 15 lbs by Halloween while she loses 10. I've made the personal decision to do this again. I've been down this road before a few years ago. I weigh 330+ and one morning just made the choice to change my life. over the next year and a half to 2 years I lost 117 lbs. Girls were flocking to me because I was ripped and cocky. I got laid a lot (sorry ma), had lots of dates, and girls always calling me...but I hated who I had to be to get that attention. I LOVED working out for hours and twice a day sometimes. I was addicted to eating right and scultping my body, but missed being the "nice guy". Then I met Jenn. She is my most recent Ex gf and probably the one who saved me from being just ANOTHER guy. She reminded me what was important inlife and it wasnt how I looked, it was Family. Friends,cousins, or even strangers on the street can become your family and make you feel accepted. And for this I am so thankful to her. This lesson came at the loss of my hard work. I regained half of what I lost over our relationship partly because of her as well. I hate puting blame on others for things that I ultimately control, but it is what it is. She made me feel guilty for going to the gym, eating healthy when she wasn't and then when I did gain weight she made little comments about it. She isnt a bad person and none of this was with malitious intent, she has her own personal demons she was dealing with and I have no ill feelings toward her. In fact I still love her very very much. We both realized we had things within ourselves that we needed to work on before we could truly make each other happy so we have avoided trying again, but I digress. She gave me the gift of Fatherhood. Although it was only for 18 months, I grew to love her son as if he were my own. He was my motivation for everything, but she took him from me with her own selfish actions. That love for him had awoken a new part of me I didnt even know existed and has forever changed me.

Now, I'm afraid to get lost in the Gym again. I'm afraid to lose the weight and get my body back to where I had it because I dont want to lose who I am again..I try to talk to my friends about all of this but none of them really understand because they've never been the fat kid. So where I go from here? I'm tired of being FAT. I can see it in peoples eyes, the lack of attention I get paid or even invites from my friends to party. My name is Matt and I deserve to be treated better. I also deserve to FEEL better about myself. Unfortunetly, this is the hardest part because it isnt exactly something I can do alone. I'm not good at asking for help either. It's Go time and I am going to get back into the shape I used to be. Not for attention, not because society says I should, but because it makes ME happy. If anyone reads this or decides to follow my blog I will be posting more often and I ask of you PLEASE help me along my journey.

Week 4 NFL Picks

I did not see several of the games last week ending up the way they did leaving me with a 7-9 record for the week :/

Week 4 marks the first of the Bye Weeks it'll be interesting to see who finishes like they started or who turns it around.

Overall: 25-23

Winners:
Jets
Bengals
Ravens
Titans
Packers
Falcons
Saints
Rams
Colts
Oak
Eagles
Chargers
Bears
Dolphins

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Week 3

Overall: 18-14


This week is gonna be just straight up picks. I'm too sleepy for the explinations

Winners:
Ten
Cin
PIT
NE
BAL
SF
HOU
DET
NO
WAS
PHI
IND
OAK
SD
MIA
GB

Friday, September 17, 2010

Week 2 NFL Picks

Overall: 8-8

Well week one didnt go as well as I had hoped, but I also understand that you never really know where teams stand until its Game time. So hopefully this week I can do better than .500 and start moving myself back up the way I expect.


Buf Vs GB
Pick: GB

I still think the Green Bay is the best team in the NFC overall right now. They play Great defense and the Offense can score at anytime. Aaron Rodgers was lack luster in last weeks start against a good Philidelphia defense. Buffalo has an ok D, but Zero offense. CJ Spiller will be ineffective against GB just like he was last week. With Ryan Grant out they will ahve to rely on Aarons arm and their WR core. GB moves to 2-0

MIA Vs MIN.
Pick: Min

This is a tough pick for me right now. Minnesota has glarying weaknesses going into this game that really do worry me. Their lack of Depth at DB could prove to be a problem with Brandon Marshall, Davon Bess, and Bret Heartline. Pair that with their WR corp being diminished to Berrian and Camarillo ( Maybe Harvin) and it could be 0-2 for the Purple dudes. The reasons I go win Min are #4 and #28. I dont see them allowing the team go to the bottom of the NFC North.

KC vs CLE
pick: KC

Jamaal Charles and Dexter McCluster seem to have Revived this franchise with some positive energy and explosion. The Coaching Staff is doing a great job over there. Cle is well..Cle. Thats really all I can say.

Chi vs Dal
Pick: Dal

Chicago almost lost the the Lions. The only reason they didnt was 2 TD passes to Matt Forte. Dallas' defense wont allow that dump off crap. The only way I see Chicago winning is if they dominate the Line of scrimmage on defense. They didnt do it vs Det and I dont see it happening Vs a much better Dallas team

ARI VS ATL
Pick: ATL

This will all depend on how the Falcons respond to their loss against Pitt. They out match the Cardinals on Defense, but they both have high powered offenses. If the Falcons D shows up to play and can put enough pressure on Derek Andersen they will improve to 1-1

TB vs CAR
Pick: Car

Tampa played decent enough in their home opener, but it seemed to me that Cleveland beat themselves more than TB did. Carolina put too much on Matt Moore in the first game and it showed with 3 picks inside the red zone. I'm looking for a Steady dose of Deangelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart to grind out a hard nose win.

PHI vs DET
Pick: Phi

Philly almost came back and beat the Packers last week once Mike Vick ran the show. If he wasn't down 20-3 when he got the rock they very well may have won. I'm excited to see Sick Vick in Action. I dont see the Lions putting up much of fight to be honest.

Bal Vs Cin.
Pick: Bal

After the hurt they put on the Jets last week I dont see the Ravens slowing down anytime soon. The Bengals got beat by what in my opinion is a lesser Patriots Defense. Again my concern with he Ravens Defense is their secondary, but if they put pressure on Palmer with their front 7 it wont matter much.

Pit Vs Ten
Pick: Pit

This is kind of an interesting Match up to me. Similar QB styles in V.Young and D. Dixon, Good RB's on both sides and fast defenses. I give the nod to the Steelers because I think they will be able to "contain" CJ and wont give up the big plays over the top with Troy Polamalu looking like he's in top shape.

Sea vs Den.
Pick: Seattle

I'm impressed with what Pete Carrol has done up there. I was not impressed with how Denver played in Jacksonville and I think Sea is a better team. The only way I see them winning is if they get their ground game going and can get some pressure on Matt Hasselbeck. However, it will be the Seahawks who chew up the yardage on the ground and get some good play out of their Defense.

Stl Vs OAK
Pick: OAK

Even though they got pounded in the opener I think the Raiders bounce back against a lesser opponent in the Rams. If the rams think they will throw 53 times against they are in for a rude awakeing. If they are to beat oakland it will have to be with Stephen Jackson. However, inspite of Chris Johnsons 142 yard rushing their rush defense is Much improved. They limited CJ to 66 yars on 25 carries if you take away his 76 yard scamper. Thats something would not have happened last year.

Hou Vs Was.
Pick: Houston

Romo lit up the Washington defense for over 300 yards and a TD. Houston can do better, they will lean on Arian Foster again. The Cowboys averaged 4.4 yards a carry, but just did not stick the ground Game. I like thie Houston team and I think they will hand Was their first loss of the season.

NE vs NYJ
Pick: NE

Yes the Jets made some big offseason moves and have a very good defense. However, they only have 1 Derel Revis. The Pats score, plain and simple. Tom Brady will find the open check down if he's rushed and It looks like the Jets Rookie DB isnt ready for the show yet. Welker will abuse him all game if needed. 0-2 for the self proclaimed "Champs"

JAc Vs SD
Pick: SD

The Sand Diego offense sturggled in the rain last week and seemed out of sync a bit. Another week of practice and some adjustments and I think Rivers rights this ship. Jax played a good game against a mediocre Broncos team and did good enough to win. MJD and Mercedes Lewis will need to show up for the Jaguars to have a chance.

NYG vs IND
Pick: IND

Peyton won't lose 2 in a row. I just cant imagine that happening. They will need to tighten down on their Run defense and contain Bradshaw and Jacobs or the Colts could be looking at their first 0-2 start since Peytons rookie season.

NO vs SF
Pick: NO

Who dat comes to the bay and will leave 2-0. The seahawks exploiting what seems to be a weak SF secondary and I expect Drew Brees to do the same. For the forty niners to have a shot at this Alex Smith will need to play like a stud. Which I do not see happening at all. The Niners front 7 is as good as any in the league, but it means jack if they can't get to the QB in passing situations.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

NFL Week 1 Predictions

This is something I like to do for fun every football season. I pick a winner of each game week by week and give a bried explination of why I think that team is going to win. Take it for what it is and See how I do each week. Feel free to discuss any of the picks I make, I love a good Debate. :)


Thursday
NO VS MIN
Winner: NO

I know this game was already played,but I had NO winning it anyways. Believe me or dont idc :)


Sunday

CAR VS NYG
Winner: NYG

A lot of analysts think that Carolina has the potential to over come the Giants,but I think that the Giants more balanced attack on offense and Home Field gives them the advantage in this one. CAR QB Matt Moore hasn't impressed me enough to worry about CAR's passing game, but the two Headed beast of Williams/Stewart is always formidable.

ATL VS PIT
Winner: Atlanta

Atlanta has made some quiet moves this off-season to improve their Defense and their offense is already prolific. As big a fan of Dennis Dixon as I am, ultimately he is still a yound developing QB in this league. This will be a tough fought game and I see it being decided by less than 7.

CLE VS TB
Winner: CLE

This is really is a toss up of 2 bad teams. Cleveland Has Jake Delhomme who looked on point this pre season and I think that gives them the advantage over TB. Cle's Defense also showed flashes last season of being stout with a decent secondary that could make TB easily on dimensional.

DEN VS JAX
Winner: DEN

For as many problems as the Broncos have had this off-season with injuries I still think they are better than a rebuilding Jacksonville team. Orton/Gaffney will be a good combination and Moreno/Buckhalter will be playing against an untested Jag's defense. I hope Kirk Morrison has a great season in FL.

IND VS TEX
Winner: TEX

This is probably my boldest prediction and I think I may be completely wrong going against Peyton in the Opener. However, the Texans offense is scary at times and now with emergence of Arian Foster at the RB position I think it will be a complete shoot out with whoever has the ball last winning.

MIA VS BUF
Winner: MIA

Buffalo has Spiller. Thats it.

DET VS CHI
Winner: DET

I honestly think DET is going to surprise a lot of people this season. They've been bad for so long and now how some serious offense about to happen. With Suh in the middle and a rebuilt defense. This could bring some excitement back to detroit. Chicago showed me nothing this preseason to put my worries about their inexperienced WR's Corp and poor offensive line play is a big concern for me

OAK VS TEN
Winner: OAK

Call me Biased and you may see this a lot as I RARELY choose against my team ;) (it's bad luck) As far as Football talk goes. For the Raiders to win this Game they need to "contain" Chris Johnson. There really is not way to completely stop a back like that, but if they can prevent the 80 yard TD runs they should be able to win the opener. Jason Campbell will be ready to go and the Tenn pass D is Weak.

CIN VS NE
Winner: CIN

T.O, Ocho, Shipley and Jermain Gresham will prove to be too much for NEs beat up secondary. It will be a shoot out, but the Bengals ruin Welkers miraculous comeback.

ARI VS STL
Winner: ARI

Even with the major depatures from the desert, they still have a high powered offensive attack the Lambs wont be able to compete with. Derek Andersen was a Pro Bowler a lot of people forget. Fitz will play opposite of Breaston, but the WR to watch is Doucet, I loved what I saw out of him last season.

SF VS STL
Winner: SF

Something tells me SEA is going to be a better team than a lot expect. I think Pete Carrol is going to turn that franchise around and my friend Mike Gibson is getting his first start at Guard for them in his 3rd year in teh league, but the 9ers Defense is just going to be too much. I'm shakey on the Offense though behind Alex Smith, I'd honestly have more fiath in this team if Troy Smith ended up Starting for them.

GB Vs PHI
Winner: GB

Green bay is going to be a FORCE this season. A Rod and Co will outlast Philly's speedy Defense and out score their offense behind Kolb.

DAL VS WASH
Winner: WASH

Another "reach" (wink wink) according to everyone else, but remember last year Washingtons Defense was good just on the field too long. They've sured up their offensive line a bit and with McNabb running the show I dont put anything past this team right now. Dallas looked mediocre this preseason and until they prove they can get in sync with each other I dont see them having a great season

MONDAY NIGHT

GAME OF THE WEEK
BAL VS JETS
Winner: BAL

Nothin like a bunch of Trash talk to get the testosterone flowing right? This is going to be a hard fought defensive battle, but I give the Edge to the Ravens Offense. They just have too many weapons now with the addition of TJ. I think Sanchez sucks so thats why I think the Ravens come out on top.

SD VS KC
Winner: SD

KC has improved this off-season, but they arent really a match for the High Octane attack of the super chargers even without V.Jack. Look for Matthews to get 25 + Carries to grind out teh victory after Rivers inflates teh score.

I'll post back the results of each game and own had horrible I am at this lol.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Fantasy Football Top 5 by postion

I'm a huge fan of Fantasy football so I thought I would put out a little Topic of the Players I personally think will do the best at their respective posistions.

QB-
1. Aaron Rodgers, GreenBay Packers.
- I feel like Rodgers as quietly been climbing his was in the Elite Category and is Primed for a breakout season. His Offensive line is healthy and looks like it will be giving him much better protection this year.

2. Peyton Manning, Indy Colts
- I dont think there's much explination needed for this guy. He simply wins and Throws TD's

3. Drew Brees, NO Saints
- Leader of a High Octane passing offense Brees showed us why he is a top QB in this league last season taking his team to the Super Bowl. My only fear is a SB Hangover.

4. Tom Brady, NE Patriots
- Same as Manning, He's a Proven QB and good for atleast 200 yards and 2 TD's a Game.

5. Matt Schaub, Houston Texans
- He is surrounded by phenominal talent with a good back field that loves to catch the ball. so long as he limits his Mistakes he will be a Fantasy Stud.

Sleepers:

Spoiler

Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons
- Matt is coming a long and climbing the ladder in the league when it comes to numbers. He has Michael Turner in the backfield which brings the Defense up and gives him the holes to Throw to Tony Gonzales and Roddy White.

Kevin Kolb, Philly Eagles
- The Eagles are a Pass First team with GREAT talent at Receiver in Desean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin starting, Brent Celek and Lesean McCoy out of the Backfield.




RB-

1. Maurice Jones-Drew, Jax Jaguars
- A lot of Fantasy drafts have Chris Johnson as the number one overall pick. Not I sirs. MJD is the Jacksonville offense. I believe ht epassing game will be improved this season and MJD just gets the ball whether swing passes or rushing he is consitently making plays.

2. Chris Johnson, Tenn Titans
- 2000 yards rushing, 2500+ total yards will bring your name to the front of the pack in a heart beat. Now Teams will find a way to make VY beat them instead of CJ. Maybe he hits 1500 yards again, but still a solid pick

3. Adrian Peterson, Minn Vikings
- He's worked hard this offseason to change the way he carries the rock so hopefully his fumbles will decrease and his numbers will increase. He had the best Statistical season of his career last year...and with the WR's questionable, AP will be leaned on a lot early on

4. Rashard Mendenhall, Pitt Steelers
- After taking over the starting Role last season he showed why he is a Top 5 Fantasy back. Pitt just runs the ball. Period.

5. Ray Rice, Baltimore Ravens
- Rice was a top back last season because of his ability to run and catch out of the backfield. I expect nothing less out of this Ravens offense this season. Especially with the Adition of Anquan Boldin.

Sleepers:

Spoiler

Any AFC Running back that isnt a Bronco.
Ryan Matthews, Michael Bush, and Jamaal Charles look like they have something to prove. The ball will be ran in the West.
Jahvid Best, Detroit Lions
- This may be a California Biast but I personally feel that Best is going to bring alot of excitement to the RB position in DET, most since Barry.




WR-

1. Andre Johnson, Houston Texans
- How Andre goes, the texans go. He's an animal and will produce.

2. Reggie Wayne, Indy Colts
- Peyton Manning is his QB...He dropped about 15 lbs so he should be lighter on his feet which means better routes if its even possible for him.

3. Desean Jackson, Philly Eagles
- He always seems to be able to break big plays and Him and Kolb have a great chemistry. So long as he can stay healthy Djacks will produce numbers

4. Randy Moss or Wes Welker
- They are NE's Offense.

5. Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals
- My only concern with Fitz is who is going to be throwing it to him. He's a stud, but he needs a consistent QB to get him the ball

Sleepers:

Spoiler

There are way too many receivers to not have a decent corp now a days but here's a couple I think will be above average
Miles Austin, Cowboys. Jabar Gaffney, Denver. Greg Jennings, GB. Pierre Garcon, Indy. Brandon Marshall, MIA. Calvin Johnson, DET. Malcolm Floyd, SD. Anquan Boldin, BAL. Santana Moss, WAS. Steve Smith, NYG and CAR.

That should be enough, but honestly just about every team has a good WR that is worth a Draft. Even the Raiders with Louis Murphy




TE-

1.Anotonio Gates, SD Chargers
- With Vincent Jackson holding out and a Rookie RB I see Rivers and Gates breaking 1000 yards and 10 TD's easily together

2. Jason Witten, Dallas
- Tony Romo's favorite target gets open and catches the ball. Simple as that.

3. Vernon Davis, SF
- When Alex Smith entered the starting role last Year Vernon showed why he was a Top ten pick. I expect big things from the Bay this year.

4. Dallas Clark, IND
- One of Peytons favorite targets especially in the Red Zone. Always a Solid Pick

5. Tony Gonzales, ATL
- He's been too good for too long not to put him in the top 5 TE's/. He had over 130 targets last season from Matt Ryan, I dont see any reason for htis to dip this year.

Sleepers



Brent Celek, PHI- Idk how much of a "sleeper" he is anymore after his near 1000 yard season, but he didnt fit the top 5 for me.

Jermichael Finley, GB-- Him and Rodgers have a good chemistry going and he is a missmatch for most LB's with his speed.

Zach Miller, Oakland Raiders-- Their Best offensive weapon now has a QB who loves his TIght End (no homo) he just may Make the Pro bowl this season.




Defense:

1. Jets- They are a nasty hard nose defense that lights up the other team. Even if Revis holds out all season I dont see them slacking too much.

2. Green Bay Packers - They have an amazing CB duo in Charles Woodson and Al Harris. I see them picking up RIght where they left off last season.

3. Eagles- One of the best blitzing teams in the league, they will give you sacks and turnovers.

4. San Francisco 49ers- This may be a stretch, but from what I've seen in the preseaon and the end of last season... This Defense is scary good led by Tackling monster Patrick Willis

5. Ravens-- When you think Ravens you think Defense. With the addition of Terrance Cody The run D will be even better...my only concern here is their 2ndary.

Sleepers

Raiders-- I know what your thinking...but I feel there has been a huge change in oakland. With the drafting of Rolando McClain,Lamar Houston, and Walter McFadden along with Trade/FA additons Kameron Wimbley, Jon Henderson, and Quentin Groves...They have bolstered not only the 1st Team D, but the rotation...with a QB on offense to keep the Defense off the field, this D could be Top 10 in the league if they play up to their potential

Washington Redskins.-- Last season the defense was very stout rarely giving up more than 17 points. The only problem is they had no offense behind them to keep them off the field. If Shannehan lets Haynesworth start, this Defense could be scary good.



Kickers-
I'm not gonna rank the kickers, my advice...pick the kicker of a High Scoring team or a Low scoring team with a strong leg.
Suggestions: Adam Vinetieri. Nate Kaeding, Ryan Longwell, Sebastian Janikowski, David Akers.

Rarely do Kickers Win/lose fantasy games.


I hope this helps you in some way shape or form. The trick to fantasy is paying attention to match-ups and injuries. While Ray Rice may be a better Tail back than say Steve Slaton, but if you have Rice against the Jets and Slaton Vs the Rams...I would feel better with Slaton that week.

Feel free to ask any advice about your favorite team or players, I am really good at this. I finished first in 2 of my 3 leagues last season, finishing 2nd in the 3rd because of a BS 200 yard + game by Jabar Gaffney, lost by 7 points lol

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Day 4 and 5

Sorry I never got back to post that anyone is reading besides my mom lol. Yesterday went pretty well as far as eating goes. I am happy with the results and I worked hard to clean the house and mow the lawn which was quite a work out. I then went and threw the baseball for about an hour. So even though I didnt go to the Gym I was active and I am happy for that!

Today has been awesome. I went to the Gym this morning and have been really good about my eating. The plan is to hit the Gym tomorrow and maybe Thursday,but I'm not sure yet. Friday will be the first of many Weigh in's so I'll be posting the results that night!